Negative
by aluminumovercast
Summary: One shot following the struggles of Edward and Bella as they experience infertillity. May turn into a story if there is enough interest.


**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to SM. I'm just making up my own stories using her characters. **

I sigh, signing the adoption papers laid out before me. I can't help the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach, the sensation of what felt like ice water coursing through my veins; I was feeling sorry for myself. I wipe a tear away and pick up the papers in front of me and placing them into a manila envelope.

"It's okay babe. We're going to be parents and that's all that matters." Edward says as he lays a comforting hand on my shoulder. I nod my head slowly and try to push any feeling of self-pity out of my head.

"I'll drop them off on my way into work tomorrow." I say, putting the envelope beside my purse to make sure I didn't forget them in the morning. Our adoption representative, Angela Weber, had told us that the sooner we could get the paperwork turned back in, the quicker she could get the ball rolling.

"I'm going to grab a shower. You can join me if you'd like." Edward hints, smacking my ass as he walks towards the stairs. And as much as I would like to, I just wasn't in the mood tonight.

"This sucks." I say out loud to an empty room. I grab a box of Cheerios from the pantry, not bothering to get a bowl, and pop a handful into my mouth.

Why couldn't I get pregnant like everyone else? It just wasn't fair. Hell, I turn on MTV an there are multiple shows dedicated to sixteen year old girls who have ended up pregnant after forgetting to take just one pill. My Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram feeds are full of pictures of kids and babies, all of which had been born to the people I had went to high school and college with. Between Edward's two sisters alone, we had six nieces and nephews that were constant reminders of what we were missing out on.

Edward was the love of my life. We had met my Freshman year of college at Washington State; Edward was a Junior at the time. My roommate, Bree Cameron, was a social butterfly and pretty much found herself invited to every party on campus, often insisting on dragging me along with her. It was at one of these parties that I met the infamous Edward Cullen, ladies-man-extraordinaire.

_He was sitting on the countertop in the kitchen of the Frat house we were in, casually sipping on a beer and chatting with a tall, strawberry-blonde bombshell that I had seen around campus a few times. I had gone into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge and accidentally bump into the girl. _

"_Oh, I'm sorry!" I exclaim, biting my bottom lip._

"_You're sorry?" she snorts, "You ruined my shirt. It's real silk you know! This will never come out!" She's livid. When I look down, I can see a deep burgundy spot on her shirt where the red wine she had been holding had ended up. Oops._

"_I'm so sorry," I say, quickly grabbing a couple of paper towels, dampening them in the sink, and mindlessly dabbing at the now set-in stain. She was right: this would never come out. Edward begins snicker and I look at him, wondering just what he was laughing at. God he was gorgeous! No wonder every girl on campus had a thing for him. _

"_Hey, get your hand off my tit!" she exclaims, grabbing my wrist roughly and pushing it away. I look down and see not only has the stain spread, but the damp paper towels had made a wet spot on her left boob that made her white shirt see-through. My eyes go wide and Edward's head falls back with laughter._

"_This is awesome!" Edward cries out, a tear running down his cheek._

"_Edward, stop! It's not funny!" the bitch whines, stomping her foot like a petulant child. _

"_Yeah, it's not funny." I agree quietly. "Listen, I'll go grab my bag and I'll just give you the money to replace your shirt. It was an accident. I'm sorry."_

"_Fine," she says, a menacing smile crosses her face. "That'll be $650." She holds out her hand to me. My eyes grow wide and my mouth drops open. Six hundred and fifty dollars? She had to be kidding! This was college, surely no one here could afford shit that cost that much!_

"_Really, how much did it cost?" I ask, knowing there is no way that tiny scrap of fabric that she was wearing could cost more than twenty bucks at the mall. _

"_I'm being serious you little twerp! I got it in Paris this summer. It's a one-of-a-kind." Edward rolls his eyes and takes another swig of his beer. Damn he even made that look sexy. _

"_I- I'm sorry," I stutter. "I don't have that kind of money." I look downwards, embarrassed and upset by how I was being treated by this rich snob in front of the Greek God that is Edward Cullen._

"_Now you listen here," the girl threatens, taking a step in my direction, her face only inches from mine. I instinctively take a step back so that my back becomes flush with the refrigerator. She raises her hand to strike me and just before I close my eyes and make a couple of fists, Edward's hand snakes out and grabs her wrist._

"_Tanya, that's enough," he says, his voice rough. He hops off the counter and puts his body in between us. The closeness of his body is a bit overwhelming. Tanya, as I now know her, huffs, gives me one more evil glare, and storms out of the kitchen, effectively leaving me alone in the kitchen with Edward._

"_Thanks for that." _

"_No problem," he says, tossing his now empty bottle into the trash can. "She has more money than she knows what to do with. She can go buy another shirt herself if the drycleaners can't get it out. Plus, who drinks red wine at a Frat party anyways?" I smile. True. _

"_Yeah, I still feel bad though. It is my fault after all. Plus, I didn't mean to interrupt you two," I say, my cheeks turning red. Edward shakes he his head and tells me not to worry about it. _

"_She was getting on my nerves anyways." _

"_I can see how she could do that." I say, finally grabbing my water from the fridge. "Well, I'm going to get back to my friend. Thanks again." I turn to head out of the kitchen when Edward stops me dead in my tracks._

"_You're Bella Swan right?" he asks, taking me by complete surprise. He knew my name? _

"_Um, yeah." _

"_Do you want to go outside and keep me company while I have a smoke?" _

_Nope. I didn't mind one bit. _

And that is how it began. We began dating about three weeks later. We got engaged right before I entered my senior year and got married the following summer. I was twenty three at the time and thought I was going to rule the world. I had my college degree, a fantastic job opportunity at a local hospital, and the sexiest husband any girl could ask for! At the time, that was enough for me. I was happy and completely content with my life the way that it was. That was until something flipped a switch inside of me. About three years ago I began to think that I was ready to start a family. I was nervous when I brought it up with Edward, unsure about where he stood on the subject. It was just something we hadn't discussed before. I was surprised when he had easily obliged, saying he was ready too. We made the decision to keep to ourselves about trying for a baby in case things didn't go as we had hoped for.

I stopped taking my birth control after my next period and began to keep track of my cycle meticulously. April came, then May, June, July, August, then September and October, November, December, January, February, March, and then April once more. After thirteen negative pregnancy tests, I was finally frustrated enough to make an appointment with my gynecologist to see if there was anything that could be done to help speed things along.

My doctor gave me a six month prescription of Clomid, a fertility drug that would ensure that I was producing an egg to be fertilized during ovulation, and Edward and I were once again back to tracking fertility days and charting temperatures. After six more negative tests, when November rolled around and there was still no baby, I went back to the doctor. This time, he recommended me going in for a Hysterosalpingogram and he also wanted to get a sperm sample from Edward. That same evening, I talked to Edward and we decided to wait to schedule my appointment until we could discuss our situation with some of our family and close group of friends to see if they had any suggestions of what we should do.

"When you stop worrying about it, you'll become pregnant. You just wait and see! I mean look at what happened with you and your brother. I got pregnant with you right away, but then it took ten years before I was able to get pregnant again." My mom had said. I wasn't quite sure how one could not worry about something as big as having a baby. I had always been one who overanalyzed most things, and having a baby seemed like too big of a deal to just leave up to chance. Plus, because of how long it took my mom to get pregnant with my little brother Jacob, I always had this feeling that I would not be able to get pregnant.

"Have you tried being on top?" Edward's sister Rose had asked over lunch. "That's how I got pregnant with all four of mine!" Yes, her and her husband Emmett fucked like rabbits.

"Does Edward keep his cellphone in his pocket? I've heard that can cause low sperm counts," said my boss, Victoria Cole.

"You should just adopt. We have a cousin who adopted a little boy and then she got pregnant the very next month!" Alice, Edward's other sister said. Esme, Edward's mother, who was also in the room at the time embraced me in a hug and told me she was so excited about the possibility of more grandkids.

So we did everything we could. I deleted the app on my phone that told me which days were high fertility days and when I could expect ovulation. Edward and I went back to having sex just when we were in the mood. I rode him and elevated my hips afterwards. Edward started carrying his cell in his back pocket or in hand. And the months came and went, just like they always had.

Two years after deciding to try to start a family, here I stood, shoving dry cereal into my mouth, and staring at the envelope that held the documents that would hopefully get us one step closer to making that dream a reality. I'm so lost in my thought that I don't hear Edward come back in the room.

"You didn't join me," he says, his voice a bit sad. I turn around to find him standing there in nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist.

"Sorry," I reply, biting into my lower lip. "I was just thinking." He smiles and starts walking towards me.

"Oh? About the whole adoption thing?" he asks, coming to a stop right in front of me. Even though the newness of our relationship had worn off, I still found him incredibly sexy…especially when he was wearing such little clothing. I blush.

"Yeah. It's just a big deal I guess." He wraps his arms around me and pulls me towards him, my head landing on his chest.

"Yeah, it is," he agrees. "But just think, we're going to become parents Bella. I know it isn't the traditional way, but there are so many kids out there that need loving homes." I sigh. He was right of course, but I still couldn't help but to feel a bit jaded.

"I know," I whisper. "I just feel like I am missing out on a huge experience. I kind of feel like lesser of a woman since I can't seem to get pregnant," I admit. It's the first time I've shared those thoughts out loud. Edward pulls away from me, holding me only with his hands on my upper arms. He plants a quick kiss on my lips.

"Bella, you're going to make a phenomenal mother, regardless of how we become parents. We'll have the family we've been wanting, one way or another; it's just a matter of time. Until then," he says, surprising me as he bends down, wraps one of his arms around my legs and the other just above my ass, and lifts me up and over his shoulder.

"Edward!" I gasp, surprised by the sudden movement.

"Shhh…Until the time comes, I am going to take you upstairs and show you just how much of a woman you are. I'll let you be on top tonight."

Well that's one way to distract me.

**AN: For right now, this is a complete one shot. If there is any interest on seeing where this goes, I might turn it into a full length story. **


End file.
